


Irrevocable

by deathwailart



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Backstory, Being Hawke is Suffering, Father-Son Relationship, Headcanon, M/M, Mages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 21:19:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1998207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathwailart/pseuds/deathwailart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders changes everything with the destruction of the Chantry and all Ruairidh can do is look on and hope he's doing the right thing when he spares his life.</p>
<p>Written for the 30 day drabble challenge: irrevocable</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irrevocable

"My magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base." The words his father lived by, the words he said at the end of every lesson with Ruairidh and Bethany that had rubbed him the wrong way when he'd been young and angry. Back when in the days when one wrong word would have them at each other's throats and the whole house tense, Carver resenting all of them because three mages in the house and the only one who was 'normal' in his words was his mother, Bethany rolling her eyes the older she got and trying to play peacemaker, the reminders from both parents of just how much sacrifice it had taken for them to even be here, to have a family, a life.  
  
In some of the uglier moments, when he was a callow bitter boy who thought he knew everything, he'd say it wasn't a life, not when they were running and looking over their shoulders and he'd be a shit Dane's Refuge and talk about mages, within earshot of the Templars and the pious. He supposes he'd been like Anders. Until father's cough hadn't disappeared and he'd ended up in bed, barely able to muster any sort of spell, no longer the broad strong man he'd been all Ruairidh's life, a shadow, a wraith.   
  
Ruairidh had spent hours with him then when he wasn't working to support them and buy what he could to make potions and salves or anything to ease the pain. He still hates that it was only then that they really spent time together, in the quiet hours when the pain kept Malcolm awake and when Ruairidh (still just a boy, father would say, patting his cheek and the stubble he was growing to try to look older and suitable for the Blackstone jobs, my little boy) couldn't sleep for the knot of anxiety in his belly. Talking long into the night about Malcolm's life and all his hopes and dreams, wishing he could have given them all so much more until Ruairidh had finally cried.  
  
He'd repeated his father's words back at him when he'd passed, clutching his hands tight.  
  
Now as he tries to blink the red light from his eyes he remembers them and Anders was _there_ , he heard Malcolm's voice as Ruairidh had and they'd talked about it together, Ruairidh confessing things he'd only ever told his family. He wants to grab him and shake him because there is no going back and Anders has lived a hard life, in the Circle, the Wardens, living as he had in Kirkwall but Ruairidh's a mage too and he almost lost Carver getting the coin for the status to keep him safe.  
  
But the Chantry is gone and Meredith and Orsino are arguing and Ruairidh has killed a lot of people, he'll never get the blood out from under his nails but he helped, Anders lied to him and Ruairidh was a part of this. Nothing can ever be the same now and if it was holy war before then this will be so much worse, this will be like the old stories about the Imperium and they might crush them all under foot.  
  
There's no going back and in the end when he sides with the mages, when Meredith's petrified body stands as a sentinel and warning in the courtyard, when he runs with them all, when they split apart and he takes Anders by the hand and has his hound at his other side, he can only hope that his father will understand.


End file.
